dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
