My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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