I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
