"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
