Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
