Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
