Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
