I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
