garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
