You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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