do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
