I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Randomize
