Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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