Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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