I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
