so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My day in three words: secret purse cake
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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