belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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