she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
