Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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