I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
