have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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