That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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