Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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