The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
