try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
