He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
