So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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