you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
