my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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