Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
