Duck Duck Cougar?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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