You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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