VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
