You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
