i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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