The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
