Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
