is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Every concussion has its silver lining
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Randomize
