Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
