Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
