can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
