put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
