Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
