There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
And then my night got REAL pukey
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
