Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
