you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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