If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
