And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize