just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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