We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize