Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
your room smells of hookers.
And success
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Randomize
