Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
