I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize