You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I wish I could punch you in the face.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize