It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
