cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I will be naked everywhere
Can I color on your dick again?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
