I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize