You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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